Tomorrow I will take my first born to what is basically kindergarten (summer school). I will walk her to her class in a big school, kiss her goodbye and trust her to total strangers for 7 hours of her day.
When she was in her 2s and 3s I dreamed of this day. I LONGED for this day. A day where I wasnt her only source of companionship. A day where I could allow her to be cared for by someone other than myself. When you don't live near your parents or your husband's parents, when you birth a baby in a place where you don't know a single soul - you learn to do it on your own. You learn how to lean in to your husband and you both learn together how to solely care for the tiny little person that you created. In the middle of the night when you're exhausted beyond belief and yet she keeps crying, its you. When you wake up after a broken night's sleep only to find a girl who surely to goodness is exhausted, yet wants nothing more than to play, play, play... its you. It's you and of course your husband who comes in from a 10 hour shift of difficult work only to rescue his exhausted wife who has been up with said crying baby all night - by playing with that very un-exhausted baby... so her mama can get just at least one more hour of rest. We don't exaggerate when we say that its just been us. We have had amazing friends come to our aid and the older the girls get the easier it has been because God has brought some amazing people into our lives.... but it has always been us. I LONGED for the day where it could be someone else - where someone else could just take care of her for a little while so that I could take a minute for myself....
And now I dont want that day. I just want to keep her bottled up. It is good and healthy for parents to want - and get some time to refresh, but now, the thought of sending my girl into the hands of someone else for 35 hours a week is hard. She hasnt even gone to school yet and I miss her already. I know that she will learn so much, that she will grow as a person and that she is in loving and capable hands (we have an AMAZING teacher this year!!).... but still. This is uncharted territory for me. For us. We've never done this before and it's a little scary. I know she will be fine and I hope she will be brave... and tomorrow I will try to be brave for her. But tomorrow a little piece of my heart will walk out of my front door and come home a little different...
Photos from her First Day of Kindergarten:
Post Kindergarten Update: We had a rough first week of actual kindergarten because she really missed being home. BUT, we had a GREAT year and she learned so much!! We got used to school and she grew to love it. I grew to love having that time to take care of things around the house, but I missed her fiercely.
When she was in her 2s and 3s I dreamed of this day. I LONGED for this day. A day where I wasnt her only source of companionship. A day where I could allow her to be cared for by someone other than myself. When you don't live near your parents or your husband's parents, when you birth a baby in a place where you don't know a single soul - you learn to do it on your own. You learn how to lean in to your husband and you both learn together how to solely care for the tiny little person that you created. In the middle of the night when you're exhausted beyond belief and yet she keeps crying, its you. When you wake up after a broken night's sleep only to find a girl who surely to goodness is exhausted, yet wants nothing more than to play, play, play... its you. It's you and of course your husband who comes in from a 10 hour shift of difficult work only to rescue his exhausted wife who has been up with said crying baby all night - by playing with that very un-exhausted baby... so her mama can get just at least one more hour of rest. We don't exaggerate when we say that its just been us. We have had amazing friends come to our aid and the older the girls get the easier it has been because God has brought some amazing people into our lives.... but it has always been us. I LONGED for the day where it could be someone else - where someone else could just take care of her for a little while so that I could take a minute for myself....
And now I dont want that day. I just want to keep her bottled up. It is good and healthy for parents to want - and get some time to refresh, but now, the thought of sending my girl into the hands of someone else for 35 hours a week is hard. She hasnt even gone to school yet and I miss her already. I know that she will learn so much, that she will grow as a person and that she is in loving and capable hands (we have an AMAZING teacher this year!!).... but still. This is uncharted territory for me. For us. We've never done this before and it's a little scary. I know she will be fine and I hope she will be brave... and tomorrow I will try to be brave for her. But tomorrow a little piece of my heart will walk out of my front door and come home a little different...
Photos from her First Day of Kindergarten:
Post Kindergarten Update: We had a rough first week of actual kindergarten because she really missed being home. BUT, we had a GREAT year and she learned so much!! We got used to school and she grew to love it. I grew to love having that time to take care of things around the house, but I missed her fiercely.
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