Life without Passy
It has been nearly 2 weeks since Annie said goodbye to her beloved passy. My previous post talked about how we did it and how she handled it on her first day. But then, the second ...and third...and fourth days came... and there's a reason I didn't post about our post-passy life until now. And that's because life was hard.
A lot has happened in 2 weeks so I'm having trouble remembering every detail...but I'll try to remember what I can (especially for those of you who are getting ready to go through this life-change!)
On day 2 she would not take a nap in her bed, so I brought her to bed with me and it took her a good hour and a half of rolling around/crying to fall asleep (WITH me.) That night.. she had a complete breakdown and I had to lay in bed with her and hold her until she fell asleep.
**Note: after day 2 she never asked for her passy***
Day 3 looked the same. As did Day 4..only day 4 her daddy went back to work so I was solo. For her nap... she didnt take one. After an hour of her wallowing around on her bed and then another hour of her laying with me... no sleep was to be had. That night - she cried so hard and begged to sleep with me... and so she did.
Day 5 looked the same, she couldnt go to sleep without me.
Steven and I have worked insanely hard her entire life to teach her to sleep the way she sleeps. People have commented many times about how lucky we are to have a kid that sleeps so well - and while part of it has to deal with her personality, it has to do more with the work Steven and I have done since the day we brought her home. We are not co-sleepers (and so lets just avoid that debate)...but we also love our daughter and we know when she needs us. When she feels bad or she's scared and she cries for us, we don't ignore her - we go to her and we comfort her. If she can't be comforted in her own room, we bring her to ours. But everyone sleeps better when they're in their own beds. She sleeps better when she's in hers and we sleep better when she's in hers too! haha
SO - the fact that we had gone 5-6 days without her being able to fall asleep on her own threw us for a huge loop and raised so many questions of "what the heck do we do now!?" We did not want it to become a norm for her to sleep in our bed or for me to have to lay with her and hold her until she fell asleep (especially with another baby coming soon)...BUT... she would meltdown so badly at night that I really didn't have a choice. I had no idea how to help her...except just...hold her. And that's exactly what Annie needed. She needed her mama. She had lost her best friend and who knows, maybe she was scared that if I wasn't with her, she'd lose me too - I have no idea what was running through her head, I just know that she needed me.... and so as much as I wanted to tell her "no, you need to fall asleep by yourself," and let her cry it out, I did what she needed.
On Day 6 I was so tired and needed her to go to sleep so badly that I took her downstairs and we napped with daddy. He wasn't super happy with that...but... it's what we both needed b/c my nerves were shot and she was tired. She slept for over 2 hours that day. On day 7 we approached things a little differently and I told her that she was going to take a nap in her bed without mama... and after some playing and some crying, she passed out on the floor..
However, at night when I tucked her in, rather than taking her to my bed (so she wouldnt get used to that being her normal), I climbed my 31 week pregnant self into her tiny little toddler bed and I laid with her and I sang to her until she fell asleep. I did this for 4-5 nights in a row and I prayed hard for her during this time. There were nights I was really frustrated because of all I needed to do (and again, i was so nervous that she would expect this to be her new normal.) I'm fairly certain it was the Holy Spirit who told me "this is just a season and it wont last forever." And so I soaked up this time with my girl...because she's never really been one to be rocked or held...
Day 8 she boycotted her nap and then at bedtime I read to her, I rocked her, I sang to her, I tucked her in....and she fell asleep on her own, without me.
Day 9-10 daddy was home. We laid her down for a nap and within minutes she was sitting at her table playing, so Steven went in and laid her back in her bed and told her to take a nap and that we'd play when she woke up... AND SHE DID. There were no tears, no fights... just obedience!! that night... we read to her, sang to her, rocked her...and she fell asleep all by herself.... (Her daddy is a miracle worker)
So FINALLY, WE MADE IT. We made it through this short little season of life (and boy are we happy to be through it). We have made some changes to what time she goes down (to be sure she's extra tired) and what we do with her routines. I have to say that I really do love our new bedtime routine because in the past it has been so short and sweet and to the point... and now I get an extra 15 minutes at night where I can just cuddle my sweet baby in my lap and smell her little head and kiss her.... and for that I'm super grateful ..because babies dont keep...
SO for you mamas who are walking through this stage of life or who are getting ready to... just be patient with your babies... they'll get there :)
***We did give her a teether that she had to help her fall asleep, since she also used the pacifier to kind of chew on... so the teether did help***
A lot has happened in 2 weeks so I'm having trouble remembering every detail...but I'll try to remember what I can (especially for those of you who are getting ready to go through this life-change!)
On day 2 she would not take a nap in her bed, so I brought her to bed with me and it took her a good hour and a half of rolling around/crying to fall asleep (WITH me.) That night.. she had a complete breakdown and I had to lay in bed with her and hold her until she fell asleep.
**Note: after day 2 she never asked for her passy***
Day 3 looked the same. As did Day 4..only day 4 her daddy went back to work so I was solo. For her nap... she didnt take one. After an hour of her wallowing around on her bed and then another hour of her laying with me... no sleep was to be had. That night - she cried so hard and begged to sleep with me... and so she did.
Day 5 looked the same, she couldnt go to sleep without me.
Steven and I have worked insanely hard her entire life to teach her to sleep the way she sleeps. People have commented many times about how lucky we are to have a kid that sleeps so well - and while part of it has to deal with her personality, it has to do more with the work Steven and I have done since the day we brought her home. We are not co-sleepers (and so lets just avoid that debate)...but we also love our daughter and we know when she needs us. When she feels bad or she's scared and she cries for us, we don't ignore her - we go to her and we comfort her. If she can't be comforted in her own room, we bring her to ours. But everyone sleeps better when they're in their own beds. She sleeps better when she's in hers and we sleep better when she's in hers too! haha
SO - the fact that we had gone 5-6 days without her being able to fall asleep on her own threw us for a huge loop and raised so many questions of "what the heck do we do now!?" We did not want it to become a norm for her to sleep in our bed or for me to have to lay with her and hold her until she fell asleep (especially with another baby coming soon)...BUT... she would meltdown so badly at night that I really didn't have a choice. I had no idea how to help her...except just...hold her. And that's exactly what Annie needed. She needed her mama. She had lost her best friend and who knows, maybe she was scared that if I wasn't with her, she'd lose me too - I have no idea what was running through her head, I just know that she needed me.... and so as much as I wanted to tell her "no, you need to fall asleep by yourself," and let her cry it out, I did what she needed.
On Day 6 I was so tired and needed her to go to sleep so badly that I took her downstairs and we napped with daddy. He wasn't super happy with that...but... it's what we both needed b/c my nerves were shot and she was tired. She slept for over 2 hours that day. On day 7 we approached things a little differently and I told her that she was going to take a nap in her bed without mama... and after some playing and some crying, she passed out on the floor..
However, at night when I tucked her in, rather than taking her to my bed (so she wouldnt get used to that being her normal), I climbed my 31 week pregnant self into her tiny little toddler bed and I laid with her and I sang to her until she fell asleep. I did this for 4-5 nights in a row and I prayed hard for her during this time. There were nights I was really frustrated because of all I needed to do (and again, i was so nervous that she would expect this to be her new normal.) I'm fairly certain it was the Holy Spirit who told me "this is just a season and it wont last forever." And so I soaked up this time with my girl...because she's never really been one to be rocked or held...
Day 8 she boycotted her nap and then at bedtime I read to her, I rocked her, I sang to her, I tucked her in....and she fell asleep on her own, without me.
Day 9-10 daddy was home. We laid her down for a nap and within minutes she was sitting at her table playing, so Steven went in and laid her back in her bed and told her to take a nap and that we'd play when she woke up... AND SHE DID. There were no tears, no fights... just obedience!! that night... we read to her, sang to her, rocked her...and she fell asleep all by herself.... (Her daddy is a miracle worker)
So FINALLY, WE MADE IT. We made it through this short little season of life (and boy are we happy to be through it). We have made some changes to what time she goes down (to be sure she's extra tired) and what we do with her routines. I have to say that I really do love our new bedtime routine because in the past it has been so short and sweet and to the point... and now I get an extra 15 minutes at night where I can just cuddle my sweet baby in my lap and smell her little head and kiss her.... and for that I'm super grateful ..because babies dont keep...
SO for you mamas who are walking through this stage of life or who are getting ready to... just be patient with your babies... they'll get there :)
***We did give her a teether that she had to help her fall asleep, since she also used the pacifier to kind of chew on... so the teether did help***
Comments
Post a Comment