she loves me
My heart is so full right now, it feels like it could burst. Why, you ask? That little girl of mine.
She has entered the phase of toddlerhood where everything is dramatic. You tell her no and she cries. She doesnt want what you feed her, she spits it out. You tell her no and she cries. She throws her cup across the room because you told her no, then she cries because you told her not to throw her cup. You walk out of the room and she cries. You stand in her way and she cries. Some days I just want to pull my hair out because I'm just not sure what else to do with that girl.
But then I get days like today.... every mom, I'm sure, has encountered days like today. Those tender little moments that, as I mentioned, make your heart so full you think it might just burst. That little ray of sunshine in your cloudyweek day, that little reminder from the Lord himself who says "This. THIS is why..."
Days like today make me BEYOND grateful of the gift of motherhood. I have had a heck of a time in this adventure because I've done it on my own (with the help of Steven, of course). Very few friends to come help, no aunts or uncles to come and play, no grannys or grandpas to come over and let you take a nap or take care of the baby while you're running a fever and snotting all over the place. Just me. And I'm tired. I'm so, so tired. I've written about this before - but its still very true almost 18 months later. Babyhood is behind us (thank. the. Lord.), but I find myself clinging to her so much tighter because I realize that she's growing up! Sometimes too fast, and sometimes not nearly fast enough. My little girl is turning into a little girl.
Annie has such a tender little heart (but a will as strong as... uh... something very strong). She is so loving and affectionate and shows it to everything and everyone who captures her heart. She gives hugs and her favorite: kisses. To the random stranger in the airport who played peek-a-boo with her, to the toilet seat because she so enjoys watching it flush. The fish tank at Wal-Mart, the doormat on our front porch. The little duck in her book or her favorite cup of milk. She kisses her Pops through Facetime and her daddy's face on the background of my iphone. It really is the sweetest thing I've ever witnessed. But today, she took her love to a new level. She spoke it.
I scooped her up and gave her a kiss as I laid her down on the changing table to get her a fresh diaper (that she had to kiss before I put it on her. And dont forget her socks. they needed a kiss too). I looked at her and smiled and she said the three words that I've been saying to her every since she was conceived: "I love you." Granted it sounded something like "Ah luh ye" - but she said it. After she said it she proceeded to pucker her little lips out and stretch her neck as far as it would go: she wanted a kiss from her mama. And a kiss she got. I tell her those words a million times a day and while she has said them to others before after me prompting her to say them ("tell daddy "I love you." "Tell Pops, 'I love you.") this is the first time she has said it on her own. I could have melted into a puddle right then and there.
And to top it all off she has been super affectionate to her mama all day long. Randomly coming up to me and squeezing my leg, running over to give me a kiss when she spots me across the room... wrapping her arms around me and holding me tight as I wait to put her in the bath, giving me a kiss for getting her dressed. I look at that little darling girl and I am just so, so, so grateful for her tender little heart. I feel the need to really pray over it because this girl of mine loves hard, but her feelings get hurt easily. I am also thankful for an incredible husband who will be able to guard that heart of hers and teach her what love really looks like.
I always give Annie a kiss and tell her I love her right as I'm laying her in her bed. Tonight I did just that - and then I ran my fingers through her hair and smiled at her and told her again. Her big (and they're big) blue eyes glared up at me and she smiled. Then she puckered those little lips out and reached her head up - she wanted to give me another kiss. So I lifted her, kissed her, and laid her back down. She grinned the biggest grin and then rolled over with her blanket and her passy... ready to fall asleep.
God knows what mamas need... and today, I needed this. Being a mama is hard. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, but moments like these... make every difficult day worth it. That Annie of mine is such a blessing - more than I am even able to comprehend. And moments like these, well, I'm going lock them up and throw away the key... I'll keep them forever.
She has entered the phase of toddlerhood where everything is dramatic. You tell her no and she cries. She doesnt want what you feed her, she spits it out. You tell her no and she cries. She throws her cup across the room because you told her no, then she cries because you told her not to throw her cup. You walk out of the room and she cries. You stand in her way and she cries. Some days I just want to pull my hair out because I'm just not sure what else to do with that girl.
But then I get days like today.... every mom, I'm sure, has encountered days like today. Those tender little moments that, as I mentioned, make your heart so full you think it might just burst. That little ray of sunshine in your cloudy
Days like today make me BEYOND grateful of the gift of motherhood. I have had a heck of a time in this adventure because I've done it on my own (with the help of Steven, of course). Very few friends to come help, no aunts or uncles to come and play, no grannys or grandpas to come over and let you take a nap or take care of the baby while you're running a fever and snotting all over the place. Just me. And I'm tired. I'm so, so tired. I've written about this before - but its still very true almost 18 months later. Babyhood is behind us (thank. the. Lord.), but I find myself clinging to her so much tighter because I realize that she's growing up! Sometimes too fast, and sometimes not nearly fast enough. My little girl is turning into a little girl.
Annie has such a tender little heart (but a will as strong as... uh... something very strong). She is so loving and affectionate and shows it to everything and everyone who captures her heart. She gives hugs and her favorite: kisses. To the random stranger in the airport who played peek-a-boo with her, to the toilet seat because she so enjoys watching it flush. The fish tank at Wal-Mart, the doormat on our front porch. The little duck in her book or her favorite cup of milk. She kisses her Pops through Facetime and her daddy's face on the background of my iphone. It really is the sweetest thing I've ever witnessed. But today, she took her love to a new level. She spoke it.
I scooped her up and gave her a kiss as I laid her down on the changing table to get her a fresh diaper (that she had to kiss before I put it on her. And dont forget her socks. they needed a kiss too). I looked at her and smiled and she said the three words that I've been saying to her every since she was conceived: "I love you." Granted it sounded something like "Ah luh ye" - but she said it. After she said it she proceeded to pucker her little lips out and stretch her neck as far as it would go: she wanted a kiss from her mama. And a kiss she got. I tell her those words a million times a day and while she has said them to others before after me prompting her to say them ("tell daddy "I love you." "Tell Pops, 'I love you.") this is the first time she has said it on her own. I could have melted into a puddle right then and there.
And to top it all off she has been super affectionate to her mama all day long. Randomly coming up to me and squeezing my leg, running over to give me a kiss when she spots me across the room... wrapping her arms around me and holding me tight as I wait to put her in the bath, giving me a kiss for getting her dressed. I look at that little darling girl and I am just so, so, so grateful for her tender little heart. I feel the need to really pray over it because this girl of mine loves hard, but her feelings get hurt easily. I am also thankful for an incredible husband who will be able to guard that heart of hers and teach her what love really looks like.
I always give Annie a kiss and tell her I love her right as I'm laying her in her bed. Tonight I did just that - and then I ran my fingers through her hair and smiled at her and told her again. Her big (and they're big) blue eyes glared up at me and she smiled. Then she puckered those little lips out and reached her head up - she wanted to give me another kiss. So I lifted her, kissed her, and laid her back down. She grinned the biggest grin and then rolled over with her blanket and her passy... ready to fall asleep.
God knows what mamas need... and today, I needed this. Being a mama is hard. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, but moments like these... make every difficult day worth it. That Annie of mine is such a blessing - more than I am even able to comprehend. And moments like these, well, I'm going lock them up and throw away the key... I'll keep them forever.
Comments
Post a Comment