Disappointment
I hesitated to do this post - for fear of being too transparent, but I decided to go ahead and post anyways!!
Steven and I leave for the Dominican Republic in 22 days! I don't think that has quite hit home yet. It still seems like its 6 months away.. but it's not - it's actually less than a month away! I haven't been praying very hard for this trip, assuming that God already knows what all needs to take place in order for our team to be able to go - and more importantly He knows what needs to take place in the lives of the Dominicans. How dumb of me. I just realized that I should be on my face for the next 22 days - begging God to mold me and shape me and use me in whatever way He sees fit. To prepare our team for ACTION and to begin a work in the hearts and lives of the Dominicans! I have forgotten that we are on MISSION - not Vacation. So, God forgive me for not taking these issues to the floor!!
On a similar note, payments are due in ... Sunday. Yep, this Sunday, November 1st. We're supposed to be paid in 100% full. I feel really disappointed. Steven and I sent out 80 support letters to various friends and family, in hopes to raise the money to be able to go! In our letter we shared that as much as monetary support would be appreciated, we really needed PRAYER support! Money is important enough, but intercession is so much more! I am SO THANKFUL for the ones who responded to the letters!! As thankful as I am though, I am even more disappointed. Out of those 80 letters... we got 6 responses.. ONLY SIX. Six people graciously gave towards our trip - and for you six.. WE PRAISE GOD FOR YOU!! Those six also agreed to lift us up to the heavenly father on a daily basis. And actually, we had a couple very dear to our hearts regretfully inform us that while they were not able to give, they would pray for us - which.. to me is way better than money! So THANK YOU for responding in that manner! In total, 7 people agreed to pray for us and 6 provided monetary support. I expected so many more responses... and it just didn't happen. As I sit and think about this disappointment, I am reminded of a blog my Pastor wrote a few months back. He said,
"Life would be so much easier if we could live lightly with little expectations. If we could live easy, flexible lives, we would never get frustrated, disappointed, or upset. I know that is a major oversimplification but it seems that expectations do way more harm than good. We expect things from our spouse, our children, our friends, our church, our meals, our vacations, etc. Then every time our expectations are not met, we get disappointed and our attitude suffers. Life would be so much better if we just accepted life and relationships as they came. I am not saying things would still not be hard work and require intentional living. I am just referring to living with as few expectations of situations and others as possible
.......After this experience, I wonder how we approach God in the realm of expectations. I wonder how often we get frustrated or disappointed with God because He doesn't do or respond to our prayers the way we expect Him to"
I just expected God to provide more I guess - and I get frustrated because He didn't. And you know, maybe He hasn't because of what I said in the first paragraph of this thing... though I have prayed for this... I simply haven't poured over it nearly enough!! I am so convicted over that disappointment, but can't help but feel that way - especially since $2400 is coming out of our pockets...in 3 days. I have to be thankful though that while it puts a BIG dent in our finances, that we have the money. At least we DO have it...
So, I ask you to continue to pray for us as we cope with blown expectations... and as God readies our hearts and minds for action!!! That He would be glorified in our going!
Steven and I leave for the Dominican Republic in 22 days! I don't think that has quite hit home yet. It still seems like its 6 months away.. but it's not - it's actually less than a month away! I haven't been praying very hard for this trip, assuming that God already knows what all needs to take place in order for our team to be able to go - and more importantly He knows what needs to take place in the lives of the Dominicans. How dumb of me. I just realized that I should be on my face for the next 22 days - begging God to mold me and shape me and use me in whatever way He sees fit. To prepare our team for ACTION and to begin a work in the hearts and lives of the Dominicans! I have forgotten that we are on MISSION - not Vacation. So, God forgive me for not taking these issues to the floor!!
On a similar note, payments are due in ... Sunday. Yep, this Sunday, November 1st. We're supposed to be paid in 100% full. I feel really disappointed. Steven and I sent out 80 support letters to various friends and family, in hopes to raise the money to be able to go! In our letter we shared that as much as monetary support would be appreciated, we really needed PRAYER support! Money is important enough, but intercession is so much more! I am SO THANKFUL for the ones who responded to the letters!! As thankful as I am though, I am even more disappointed. Out of those 80 letters... we got 6 responses.. ONLY SIX. Six people graciously gave towards our trip - and for you six.. WE PRAISE GOD FOR YOU!! Those six also agreed to lift us up to the heavenly father on a daily basis. And actually, we had a couple very dear to our hearts regretfully inform us that while they were not able to give, they would pray for us - which.. to me is way better than money! So THANK YOU for responding in that manner! In total, 7 people agreed to pray for us and 6 provided monetary support. I expected so many more responses... and it just didn't happen. As I sit and think about this disappointment, I am reminded of a blog my Pastor wrote a few months back. He said,
"Life would be so much easier if we could live lightly with little expectations. If we could live easy, flexible lives, we would never get frustrated, disappointed, or upset. I know that is a major oversimplification but it seems that expectations do way more harm than good. We expect things from our spouse, our children, our friends, our church, our meals, our vacations, etc. Then every time our expectations are not met, we get disappointed and our attitude suffers. Life would be so much better if we just accepted life and relationships as they came. I am not saying things would still not be hard work and require intentional living. I am just referring to living with as few expectations of situations and others as possible
.......After this experience, I wonder how we approach God in the realm of expectations. I wonder how often we get frustrated or disappointed with God because He doesn't do or respond to our prayers the way we expect Him to"
I just expected God to provide more I guess - and I get frustrated because He didn't. And you know, maybe He hasn't because of what I said in the first paragraph of this thing... though I have prayed for this... I simply haven't poured over it nearly enough!! I am so convicted over that disappointment, but can't help but feel that way - especially since $2400 is coming out of our pockets...in 3 days. I have to be thankful though that while it puts a BIG dent in our finances, that we have the money. At least we DO have it...
So, I ask you to continue to pray for us as we cope with blown expectations... and as God readies our hearts and minds for action!!! That He would be glorified in our going!
Comments
Post a Comment