Afflicted with a heart trouble
The title of my post comes from a story that I read in Lit. 1 four years ago called,"The Story of an Hour," written by Kate Chopin in 1984. The very first sentence in this story reads, "Knowing that Mrs. Mallard was afflicted with a heart trouble, great care was taken to break to her as gently as possible the news..." News had come that her husband died - and instead of mourning, she rejoiced!! she was afflicted with a heart trouble doesn't mean she had heart problems...it mean something was burdening her heart. Her husband was really controlling...and when she found out he died, she rejoiced because she was finally free!!! Irony sets in when the story ends with her husband walking through the door... the news was a mistake!! And she dies...of heart problem...which the doctor said was "a joy that kills."
So that story didn't have much relevance to my post today - I just wanted to give you a tiny intro on the title of my post, which does apply!
I am afflicted with a heart trouble. My heart is very burdened for my nephew... to the point that as I prayed for him and his mother today, tears ran down my face. My heart aches for this little boy!! A month or so ago, I felt this huge responsibility (that could be a call of God) to take this child, move him into my home, and raise him - in order to give him the love and care that he so deserves and needs!! I am so concerned about his well-being that it kills me every time I see him!! His eyes light up with this overwhelming joy every time he sees me- he runs to me and greets me with eager anticipation only to ask the ever present question, "Aunt Ashley, will you play with me?" At his home, he is ignored by the adults that live there. He plays video games all day... that's it!! There are so many needs that need to be met in him - I WANT TO MEET THEM! I want to raise him to be a man of integrity, a man after God's own heart. I want to give him the love and affection that he lacks, to play with him, to teach him, to give him the attention he so needs... And so we've prayed and pondered how this move would impact our lives - and the relationship between he and is mom...
But now, he's been diagnosed with diabetes... and my concern has gone from his well-being - to his physical health. I went to my mom's last night and reviewed his blood sugar recordings. The kid can't even go to school because his blood sugar has yet to level out. (when your blood sugar is high, your eyes get really blurry and you literally cannot see.) As I view his charts, my heart aches! His normal range should be between 80 and 150. His readings: 3am- 122 (ok), 7am - 123 (ok) 9am - 80 (ok) 12pm - 58 (DANGEROUS!!) 4pm - 104(ok), 6pm - 298 (DANGEROUS), 9pm-87 (ok).
As you can see... there is no consistency. In the morning he is okay, in the afternoon he bottoms out, in the evening he sky rockets, and at night he's a little low (should be 100 at bedtime). His sugar is rollercoastering and it's not safe for him! He has too many highs and lows throughout the day - and his eyes can't recover because his sugar isn't stable!!! And his mother doesn't know how to fix it. Which, we're at the beginning stage of this, so she's not completely sure what she's doing... but, She doesn't realize that giving him cookies for his afternoon snack made his blood sugar sky rocket. She doesn't know that he needs water to drink, she doesn't know that he can't have this or that - or that he needs this or that... and she isn't taking time to read and study what foods do what to his body. She keeps playing it off like it's no biggie! I sat down with her last night in order to work out a meal plan for him. It's obvious he needs a little more sugar at morning snack, to keep him from bottoming out at lunch - but she doesn't see it! She can't see those things!! And it kills me!
I sat down last night and worked out a meal plan for him today - I looked at all the nutritional info, carbs, calories, sugar - all of it! it took me a while to develop this plan... and once I had all of his meals and snacks together, I tried explaining to her why I'm feeding him what I am - and what it will do to his sugar... and she looks at me with a blank stare and says words that crushed my soul... "Do you really expect me to learn this?" YES!!!!!
Oh how my heart aches for him! I want so badly to intervene, to take him and raise him and grow him in perfect health and harmony! To love God, to love his family, to love himself! What happens if we get the job in Morgantown - I want to move there so badly - but what about Chase? I want to serve God in an extreme way, to live my faith out loud - to do awesome things in His name...- I want to go to Morgantown, I want to have Chase... Father, what do you want!?
"All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." - Matthew 11:27-29
So that story didn't have much relevance to my post today - I just wanted to give you a tiny intro on the title of my post, which does apply!
I am afflicted with a heart trouble. My heart is very burdened for my nephew... to the point that as I prayed for him and his mother today, tears ran down my face. My heart aches for this little boy!! A month or so ago, I felt this huge responsibility (that could be a call of God) to take this child, move him into my home, and raise him - in order to give him the love and care that he so deserves and needs!! I am so concerned about his well-being that it kills me every time I see him!! His eyes light up with this overwhelming joy every time he sees me- he runs to me and greets me with eager anticipation only to ask the ever present question, "Aunt Ashley, will you play with me?" At his home, he is ignored by the adults that live there. He plays video games all day... that's it!! There are so many needs that need to be met in him - I WANT TO MEET THEM! I want to raise him to be a man of integrity, a man after God's own heart. I want to give him the love and affection that he lacks, to play with him, to teach him, to give him the attention he so needs... And so we've prayed and pondered how this move would impact our lives - and the relationship between he and is mom...
But now, he's been diagnosed with diabetes... and my concern has gone from his well-being - to his physical health. I went to my mom's last night and reviewed his blood sugar recordings. The kid can't even go to school because his blood sugar has yet to level out. (when your blood sugar is high, your eyes get really blurry and you literally cannot see.) As I view his charts, my heart aches! His normal range should be between 80 and 150. His readings: 3am- 122 (ok), 7am - 123 (ok) 9am - 80 (ok) 12pm - 58 (DANGEROUS!!) 4pm - 104(ok), 6pm - 298 (DANGEROUS), 9pm-87 (ok).
As you can see... there is no consistency. In the morning he is okay, in the afternoon he bottoms out, in the evening he sky rockets, and at night he's a little low (should be 100 at bedtime). His sugar is rollercoastering and it's not safe for him! He has too many highs and lows throughout the day - and his eyes can't recover because his sugar isn't stable!!! And his mother doesn't know how to fix it. Which, we're at the beginning stage of this, so she's not completely sure what she's doing... but, She doesn't realize that giving him cookies for his afternoon snack made his blood sugar sky rocket. She doesn't know that he needs water to drink, she doesn't know that he can't have this or that - or that he needs this or that... and she isn't taking time to read and study what foods do what to his body. She keeps playing it off like it's no biggie! I sat down with her last night in order to work out a meal plan for him. It's obvious he needs a little more sugar at morning snack, to keep him from bottoming out at lunch - but she doesn't see it! She can't see those things!! And it kills me!
I sat down last night and worked out a meal plan for him today - I looked at all the nutritional info, carbs, calories, sugar - all of it! it took me a while to develop this plan... and once I had all of his meals and snacks together, I tried explaining to her why I'm feeding him what I am - and what it will do to his sugar... and she looks at me with a blank stare and says words that crushed my soul... "Do you really expect me to learn this?" YES!!!!!
Oh how my heart aches for him! I want so badly to intervene, to take him and raise him and grow him in perfect health and harmony! To love God, to love his family, to love himself! What happens if we get the job in Morgantown - I want to move there so badly - but what about Chase? I want to serve God in an extreme way, to live my faith out loud - to do awesome things in His name...- I want to go to Morgantown, I want to have Chase... Father, what do you want!?
"All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." - Matthew 11:27-29
Wow Ashley, that sounds like some pretty tough stuff. Is there anyway you can help Chase himself learn what he needs to be eating, even if his mother doesn't want to learn? I'll be praying for you all!
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